It Sucks in Space

Stardate 3214.26.

Dear Reba,

I HATE FUCKING SPACE!!! It's beautiful and all, but let me tell you; in space there ain't NO fucking space. It's cramped. It stinks. The food sucks. And farts last for days. I'm still gaggin' on an ass apple Eddy laid over a week ago, for Chrissakes!

It's fucking boring, too. Everybody just mopes around with sourpuss looks on their mugs. Smartassness is our entertainment. Like "Hey Eddy! It's startin' to smell good around here. Ya think you could grace us with another one of those paint peelers? Huh?"

I gotta say; the captain is a real class-A prick. I'm usually out of his way, but whenever he shows up it's all like "What are the latest Kleindienst readings, Avery?" Or "Bring me those reports by next week, Avery, or there'll be hell to pay." He's a prick. But I guess he's alright.

So me and Eddy are prolly gonna play a game of Canasta later on, but right now I'm gonna duck in the john and flog the dolphin for a while. Nothin' better to do.

Love to you and the kids,
Milton