Saturday, February 19, 2011

Blocaphoner

[blow-CAH-funn-er]

-noun.

1.   a person who purposefully speaks loud enough to be heard by others who are wearing headphones.

2.   a musical instrument of the Victorian era that was played at parties during dull moments in order to arouse laughter among the guests.



Monday, February 14, 2011

Great Tufted Snorglitz

Great Tufted Snorglitz, n: a matted, woolly sheep-like creature specific to the Swiss Alps, possessing of two curly decorative horns and a large and musical schnozz. Not to be confused with the Lesser Tufted Snorglitz, a tropical goat.

Ex: "Jolly good, Buncombe! That's a Great Tufted Snorglitz you've felled! I bagged a Lesser Snorglitz when I was in Bermuder with Mandy last Easter. Time for tea?"

Onomatopoeia: Make up and define a funny-sounding word.

Hi from the Herkimer!

This week, make up and define a really funny-sounding word. It can mean anything at all, as long as it makes you snort with glee.

Write with guts!

Mentos and manatees,

HERKIMER

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Gabriel

At eight, Gabriel was the type of boy who was constantly seeking to occupy small, dark spaces -- the nooks and crannies of the house, garage, backyard, and so on. And if no such nook existed to his satisfaction, he would build it, preferably high up in the trees. Perhaps it was a consequence of his upbringing. You see, eight years and six or seven months ago, when Gabriel's mother and father became aware that he was on the way, a decision was made. The older boys were much older and not open to sharing their rooms with a newborn. So, mom and dad kept Gabriel and his crib in their room until he was ready for his own space, and what was once the kitchen pantry became a mattress lined cubby. Of course, it was not designed as a kitchen pantry either; it was merely the space above the stairway going down and below the stairway going up. In fact, as built, this interstitial had no floor, but rather it had a forty-five degree plywood ramp, which was also the ceiling of the lower staircase. To convert it into a pantry, Gabriel's father had installed a floor that was three feet high, and accessed by a step ladder. To convert it into a bedroom, Gabriel's father lined the six- by four-foot floor with bedding foam. From the very beginning of his occupancy, Gabriel bounced all around. He was obviously very pleased to live in the cubby, and because of this his parents were pleasantly surprised and felt validated in their decision to place him there. They could not, however, foresee the ways in which it would shape his entire life.